The insidious pain of ‘fine’

“It’s fine.”

“I’m fine.”

“We’re fine.”

How often do you say these sentences?

Things aren’t terrible and they aren’t great. They’re fine.

Our default setting is to accept this as “life”—just the way things are. But here’s the thing:

Nothing is fine. Fine is a label we give to things that are manageable yet lacking the life force we desire.

It’s not uncommon to feel this way about your work, relationship, energy level, or any other areas of life where you’ve been conditioned to believe you should be grateful for what you have—no matter how lackluster.

Recently, I was in a coaching conversation with someone who told me, “I want to cut out fine.”

This person has a job they don’t mind. A community they like. A life that works. And yet something is missing.

Or more accurately, something is present that needs to go.

Fine needs to go.

While fine isn’t necessarily dire, it’s insidious. It builds.

The longer you accept the status quo while yearning for something else—something more expanded or alive, or even just different—the further you get from your essential self.

This disconnection from true self is painful. And the desire to heal that pain is not something you need to feel guilty about.

You have permission to want more than fine.

And I’ll go a step further, for your consideration:

What if wanting more than fine was not only allowed but also your responsibility?

I’m not saying that’s a truth (only you know what’s true for you). I’m offering it as a question to play with.

If you allowed yourself to entertain the possibility that it’s your responsibility to feel better than fine about your life, what decisions would you make?

What actions would you take?

What would you let go of?

What would become essential?