You can own the holidays

This is not a pep talk about loving the holidays.

You don’t have to love the holidays. You don’t have to hate the holidays. You don’t have to do anything.

This is an invitation.

To spend the holiday months paying more attention to how you’re being than what you’re doing.

The holidays are an opportunity because they’re loaded with expectations.

Here are just a few of the expectations associated with the holidays:

• It should be fun.

• Families should be together.

• Meals should be elaborate.

• Guests should bring something.

• You should be happy.

• Gifts should be exchanged.

• Homes should be decorated.

• No one should be alone.

• People should dress up.

• Everyone should get along.

So many shoulds!

You might have some of these expectations yourself. Maybe you’re in relationship with someone who has them. Or, you could be absorbing them passively, living in a culture steeped in holiday expectations.

Regardless of how holiday expectations show up in your life, they’re a recipe for disappointment because all expectations are reactive.

When you expect something of someone, or you make decisions based on other people’s expectations, you lose your agency. You get caught in a cycle of reacting to things you have no control over.

This is why the holidays are an opportunity. Situations rife with expectations are a training ground for ownership.

Ownership of your emotions.
Ownership of your choices.
Ownership of your time.

Ownership is the opposite of reactivity because it requires creativity.

You own your life when you take responsibility for creating your experience of life.

The best way to do this is to stop trying to change anyone but yourself.

Over the holiday months, if you catch yourself struggling with “shoulds,” pause and ask, Am I being reactive or creative?

If you notice yourself falling into reactivity, there’s no need to judge.

Get curious:

How can you create a way of being that brings you peace this holiday season?