How to get the most out of a coaching session

Recently, I wrote about what to expect in a coaching session. Now that your expectations are set and you’re ready to try coaching, there are some important things to know so you can get the most out of your sessions.

Here are four ways to get the most out of a coaching session:

Decide what you want to talk about

Coming into a coaching session, you should know what you want to focus on. You drive the agenda.

Your coach is likely to kick off the session with something like, What’s on your mind today? Or, if this is your first time meeting, What brings you to coaching? Be prepared for this.

Your time and money are valuable. The quicker you can frame up your intentions for the session, the more time you’ll have to make progress.

Know what success would look like

Defining success upfront is a key characteristic of coaching. This is different from what you want to focus on. This more about what you want to accomplish.

If you had a successful session, what would that look like for you?

This doesn’t mean you’re going to solve every challenge on your plate in one coaching session. However, clarifying an objective for the session allows you and your coach to stay focused and make measurable progress.

If the term “success” feels misaligned with the particular issue you’re bringing to coaching, another way to frame this is, What would you like to be different by the end of the session?

Prepare yourself and your environment

Coaching sessions are an opportunity to step away from life’s constant distractions and focus on yourself. Treat these sessions as sacred time.

Take the Zoom or call from someplace private and quiet, where you won’t be interrupted. If you’re into it, make yourself a cup of tea or light a candle to help create an environment that’s distinct from your normal routine.

Turn off your phone notifications and put your device in a place where you won’t be tempted to look at it during the session.

Have a notebook and pen handy so you can jot down any insights or ideas that come up during the session. (Hand writing notes is better than typing because you’re less likely to sneak a peek at another tab.)

If you set an alarm for the session, have it start 5 minutes before the official appointment time to give your nervous system a second to calm down from whatever you were doing right before. You can take some deep breaths or just sit in silence while you wait for the session to begin.

Oh and please don’t do a coaching session while you’re driving. It’s impossible to give your full attention to the session.

Be openminded

Especially if you’re new to coaching, some aspects of the session might feel unfamiliar or even a little uncomfortable.

Some coaching tools are deceptively simple. Some coaches will ask questions that seem irrelevant (they’re not). Some will push you to go deeper on topics you’d rather gloss over.

Try letting go of any judgements about what a coaching session should be.

Assume good intentions and trust that real progress is rarely linear. Just because you don’t understand something or immediately resonate with it doesn’t mean it’s not serving you. There’s a difference between something feeling wrong and something feeling uncomfortable because it’s new.

If your coaching sessions go in directions you didn’t expect, see it as a positive sign that you’re having a new experience. If the same experiences you’ve already had or heard about were the answer, you probably wouldn’t be seeking coaching.

Stay open and see what you discover.