Magic is the new gratitude

With Thanksgiving happening this week in the U.S., there’s a lot of talk of gratitude. Many of us will go around the table on Thursday and give thanks for people and things in our lives.

This is a beautiful tradition. And research supports keeping it up beyond Thanksgiving.

A routine gratitude practice—naming things you’re grateful for, either verbally or in writing—has been shown to boost energy, decrease stress, improve relationships, and build resilience.

If you have a gratitude practice that serves you, please keep doing it.

For me personally, despite abundant evidence supporting gratitude as a beneficial practice, I haven’t had a lot of luck with it.

Gratitude can feel obligatory

I appreciate the round-the-table tradition at Thanksgiving. There can be something special about sharing in this way with people you care about.

Outside the holiday context, I’ve found doing gratitudes to feel a little forced.

It can feel like I’m trying to convince myself of something, or that I should have more appreciation for certain things in my life.

Maybe I should.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong. (Framing it as “doing gratitudes”—vs “being grateful”—probably isn’t helping.)

Maybe somewhere along the line I internalized the message to “be more grateful for the things you have” as criticism.

Maybe that internalized criticism morphed into a limiting belief that manifests as guilt and shame.

Who knows?

I’m less interested in why gratitude practices haven’t resonated with me and more interested in finding a more workable system for being aware of the beauty in my life.

If gratitude practices carry a twinge of “should” energy for you too, I have another suggestion.

Magic happens in the moment

Every morning, write down three magic moments from the day before.

Magic moments can be anything from experiencing a major life event to noticing a beautiful house on a routine walk to hearing back from someone you thought had ghosted you.

I started doing this earlier this year as part of a journaling practice recommended by my coach.

It’s been a game changer.

Something about framing things as magic feels simpler—and more awe-inspiring—than framing them as things to be grateful for.

There’s no “should” about it.

It’s just about noticing.

Look at that deep-red bougainvillea against the bright blue sky.

My dog is so happy to see me.

I re-connected with an old friend and it felt like no time had passed.

It’s not that I’m not grateful for these types of things. It’s just that sometimes it feels artificial to frame them that way, especially in the moment.

Gratitudes are retrospective. Magic happens now.

I suppose my magic practice is retrospective in the sense that I record the moments the next day. But here’s the best part:

The magic-moments practice trains you to not only notice magic when it happens but also to seek it out.

Noticing magic in your life inspires you to create more magic in your life!

Try it and see.

You might discover something to share at next year’s Thanksgiving table.

Los Angeles
November 26, 2024