You don’t have to quit your job
Before becoming a coach, I spent 22 years dipping in and out of 9-5 work.
I’d be in a job for a while, realize it wasn’t for me, then quit to experience the freedom of freelance. Until I realized freelance often doesn’t feel so free because it’s inconsistent.
When freelance writing or my acupuncture practice got slow enough, I’d hop back into a full-time job. Only to find myself in the same position again. Unhappy. Quit. Freelance. Panic. Rinse. Repeat.
For me personally, I’ve learned entrepreneurship is a better fit than being an employee. I’ve also learned that breaking the cycle of letting my job determine how I feel isn’t about whether I work for myself or someone else.
It’s about dissolving the illusion that something outside of me is going to make me feel secure and fulfilled.
Reinvention happens on your time
There can be this idea that in order to show up differently in your life, you need to blank slate everything—quit your 9-5 job, start a business you LOVE, collect passive income while barely lifting a finger, and live happily ever after.
This is a misunderstanding.
You can reinvent yourself while running a business from a beach or working for The Man from a cubicle. True transformation means becoming someone new, not just doing new things.
Becoming someone new means:
Cultivating self-awareness of limiting thoughts/stories/beliefs.
Learning how to clean up your unhelpful thought patterns.
Getting connected to your true desires.
Being willing to take action even when you don’t feel like it.
These are requirements if you want more out of your life, whether you’re in a 9-5 job or running your own company. Here’s why:
You can quit your 9-5 job and have control over your schedule, yet feel paralyzed by procrastination because you’re telling yourself there’s “not enough time” to do everything in your new business.
You can quit your 9-5 job and have unlimited upside potential, yet feel gripped by money fears because you’re running a script that only people with certain credentials or experience can succeed.
Quit. Or don’t.
Now, I’m not saying don’t quit your 9-5 job. If it’s making you miserable and you want to quit, quit.
And, if quitting your job is going to cause more stress than it alleviates, stay. You’ll know when the equation flips.
I once heard one of my coaching mentors, Martha Beck, advise someone on the stay-or-go job question. Here’s the wisdom she imparted: “Do it until you can’t anymore.”
At the time, I didn’t get it. I thought it was kind of a flippant response to someone who was clearly suffering with the decision of whether to quit her secure-yet-soul-sucking job.
Now I get it.
What Martha meant was, it doesn’t really matter whether you keep or ditch your 9-5 because transformation doesn’t happen as a result of becoming an entrepreneur or staying an employee.
Transformation happens when you stop reacting to your life and start creating it.
Here are a few ways you can show up as a creator in a 9-5 job:
If you’re not getting the projects, promotions, or raises you want, stop asking, “Why won’t they give it to me?” and start asking, “How might I be contributing to not getting what I want out of this job?”
If you’re feeling frustrated or worried that your boss doesn’t appreciate you, stop telling your coworkers about it and start scheduling 1:1 time with your boss where you ask direct questions like, “How am I doing? Is there anything I could be doing better to contribute to our team?”
If you have a story running that you’re “spending my life making someone else rich,” make a list of all the ways receiving a regular paycheck (and any other benefits) enriches your life.
Creation is a process
Believe me, I was not perfect at any of these things when I was a 9-5er. And I’m definitely not perfect at avoiding reactivity as an entrepreneur.
In fact, making a true decision to go all in on my coaching practice has surfaced many acute money fears. It has required me to work harder than ever at shifting the scarcity programming that has dominated my thinking since childhood.
Transforming long-held beliefs that no longer serve us is a process not an event.
If you have a 9-5 job that you don’t love but feel scared to leave, here’s an invitation: Experiment with dropping the idea of quitting.
Just for now.
Give it a couple weeks. Give it until the end of the year. Give it however long you can—until you can’t anymore.
When you free your mind of the stay-or-go debate, notice what starts to fill the space.
Do you look for other things to react to or get upset about? Do you start finding ways to create opportunities and experiences?
Nothing is right or wrong. This is just about observing what your brain does when it’s no longer occupied with trying to decide whether to quit your job.
It’s an exercise designed to help you see that you create your reality, no matter where or for who you work.
So, what do you want to create?
