What to expect in a coaching session

Coaching is becoming more mainstream. Yet relative to other modalities, such as therapy, it’s still unfamiliar to many people.

Every coaching session is different depending on the coach, the issues you bring to the session, and the mindset with which you approach it. However, there are some things you’re likely to encounter in most one-on-one coaching sessions.

Hopefully this helps set expectations so you can overcome fear of the unknown and benefit from coaching.

It looks like therapy but it is not therapy

In format, coaching and therapy can feel similar. You talk, we listen. However, in content, coaching and therapy are fundamentally different.

Therapists treat diagnosable mental health disorders while coaches help functional clients improve outcomes in a specific area of life.

Therapy typically examines the past to help you manage the present, while coaching focuses on where you are now and where you want to go next. Coaching helps you bridge that gap.

You’ll do most of the talking

Coaching is not therapy, and nor is it teaching, consulting, or mentoring. Some coaches incorporate some education into sessions, and they may offer suggestions if you’re stuck, however, the primary purpose of coaching is to help you arrive at your own answers.

A coaching session is going well when you’re talking more than your coach.

The coach creates the container for the session by structuring your time together. They ask intentionally timed questions and may suggest certain directions or tools. The rest is all you.

You’ll be challenged to let go of your story

In a coaching session—a good one, at least—you’ll feel supported and also challenged.

Coaching is not about processing or rehashing the same stories you’ve been telling for a long time. In fact, the whole point of coaching is to help you move beyond the stories that have become unconscious scripts dictating your life.

You might do some upfront context-setting to give your coach an idea of where you’re coming from. A good coach will encourage you to move through that pretty quickly so you can start discussing how you want things to be different and how to get there.

This can be tough. Our stories, even the ones keeping us stuck, are comforting. They’re our explanation for why things haven’t gone the way we planned. They’re how we justify not taking action toward the things we say we want.

Coaching sessions push you to let go of your old stories so you can make space to write new ones.

Your body will be involved

Most of us want to think our way to better careers, more money, healthier lifestyles, and more fulfilling relationships. Coaching sessions remind you that we’d be better off feeling our way there—and that our bodies are the best tool we have for figuring out what we actually feel.

Many coaches incorporate some somatic (body-related) tools into their coaching sessions.

To help with decision making, a coach may ask you to compare how the two things you’re weighing feel in your body. To help understand how your emotional struggles may be affecting you physically, they may ask you to think of something and identify where in your body you feel it.

Body-awareness practices including meditation, breath work, visualization, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) may show up in coaching sessions or as recommended exercises for between sessions.

These somatic practices can be hard for some clients to take seriously. Most of us have been culturally programmed to believe mental intellect is superior to somatic intelligence for solving problems.

I encourage you to stay open to the wisdom contained in your body. You might be surprised by what it has to tell you.