Wanting is different from yearning

If I ask you what you want, you could probably rattle off a list pretty quickly. But if I ask you what you yearn for, how would you answer?

To “yearn” is to have an intense feeling of longing for something, typically something you’ve lost or been separated from.

When I ask clients to sit with the question of what they yearn for, it brings them a level deeper.

They might want money, achievements, certain qualities in their partner and friends, and far-flung vacations.

What they yearn for is security, recognition, connection, and adventure.

This distinction is valuable because often the things you want are fleeting and outside your control.

The things you yearn for have staying power.

They are the “why” behind the “what.”

They are guideposts from your true nature, still standing when the novelty of the promotion or new car wears off.

They are internal states that are always available to you (if you slow down enough to stop chasing the external).

So, do you have an intense longing?

What have you lost or been separated from?

What do you yearn for?