The words you use matter

I spent the first 20 years of my career focused on words. From journalism to copywriting to UX writing and content design, words were where I lived.

When I started coaching, I thought I was saying goodbye to the words business! ✌️

Turns out, language—specifically, how you talk to and about yourself—is central to coaching.

Putting your thoughts into words gives them power.

Whether in writing or out loud, the words you use matter because they determine the frequency of whatever you’re talking about.

If you use language that shames or minimizes the way you are, your circumstances, or decisions you’ve made, it keeps you in a negative frequency around that part of your life.

For many of us, this is the water we swim in.

Complaining and self-deprecating are habitual ways of communicating.

Breaking this pattern can have a big impact on your life.

It’s very difficult to achieve the outcomes you want if you’re constantly putting yourself down, complaining about your current circumstances, or framing everything as a problem.

Doing that is just amplifying the frequency of lack.

When your frequency of lack is louder than your frequency of abundance, guess what you attract more of?

The concept of raising your frequency can feel abstract. Words help make it tangible!

Paying attention to the language you use is a tangible action that raises your frequency.

If you’re unhappy in your romantic relationship, resist the urge to criticize your partner. Try talking or journaling about the ways your partner contributes to your life.

If you’re in a job or career that you don't enjoy, try telling people about the things you are interested in and how you’d love to somehow turn that into your livelihood.

I’m not advocating for staying in relationships or careers that you don’t love. I’m advocating for clarity.

When you attach words to yourself, other people, or your circumstances that are accepting instead of resistant, you shift into a higher frequency.

Ultimately, that’s how you move toward the outcomes you want because at a higher frequency, you see things more clearly.

And by the way, when you catch yourself talking negatively about your life—because you’re human and we all do it—don’t turn it into another thing to beat yourself up about.

Just notice and try to do it differently next time. And remember that just the act of catching yourself—the awareness—is progress.